As an experienced integrative counsellor, I often meet people who feel like they’re carrying a heavy, invisible weight. They’re exhausted, on edge, and their world seems to be shrinking. This weight, more often than not, is the burden of excessive anxiety. It’s a feeling that goes beyond the normal, everyday worries that we all experience. It’s a persistent, often overwhelming, sense of apprehension that can cast a long shadow over every aspect of life.
In this article, I want to talk to you about this kind of anxiety. I want to help you understand what it is, how it might be affecting you, and to let you know that you don’t have to carry this weight alone. There is a path towards feeling lighter, and it often begins with a simple conversation.
What is Excessive Anxiety?
We all feel anxious from time to time. A job interview, a first date, a big life change – these are all situations where a certain level of anxiety is a natural and even helpful response. It’s our body’s in-built alarm system, preparing us to face a challenge.
But for some of us, this alarm system becomes faulty. It starts ringing for no apparent reason, or the alarm is far too loud for the situation. This is what we mean by excessive anxiety. It’s when worry becomes your constant companion, whispering tales of catastrophe and what-ifs, even in moments of peace. It’s when you feel a persistent sense of dread that is out of proportion to the actual challenges you face. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you’ve been strong for too long, carrying a burden that has become too heavy.
How Can It Affect Us? A Ripple Effect Through Your Life
Excessive anxiety isn’t just a feeling in your mind; it’s a full-body experience that can ripple out and touch every corner of your life.
Physically, you might be all too familiar with the racing heart, the tight chest, or the churning stomach. Perhaps you experience frequent headaches, muscle tension, or find it impossible to get a restful night’s sleep. Your body is in a constant state of high alert, and over time, this can be utterly draining, leaving you feeling fatigued and run down.
Psychologically, the impact can be just as profound. You might find it difficult to concentrate, as your mind is always elsewhere, caught in a loop of worry. Decision-making can feel impossible, and you might constantly second-guess yourself. Irritability is common too; when you’re on edge all the time, it’s easy to snap at those you love. For some, it can feel like their mind has turned against them, a relentless critic pointing out every potential pitfall.
Socially, anxiety can be incredibly isolating. You might start to avoid situations that you fear will trigger your anxiety – social gatherings, work meetings, or even a trip to the supermarket. Your world can begin to shrink as you retreat from the very connections that could offer you comfort and support. Friendships and relationships can become strained as you pull away, not because you want to, but because the fear feels too great.
How Can Counselling Help? A Space to Unload the Weight
This is where counselling can make a real difference. It offers you a confidential, non-judgmental space to explore your anxieties with someone who is trained to listen and to help. As an integrative counsellor, I don’t believe in a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach. I draw on a range of therapeutic ideas to tailor the support to you and your unique experiences.
One of the approaches I find particularly helpful is Transactional Analysis (TA). Don’t be put off by the name; the core ideas are actually very straightforward and incredibly insightful. TA helps us to understand the different parts of our personality. We all have a ‘Parent’ part of us, which holds the messages and beliefs we absorbed from our caregivers. We have a ‘Child’ part, which holds our feelings, creativity, and memories of our early experiences. And we have an ‘Adult’ part, which is our rational, here-and-now self.
Sometimes, our anxiety can be linked to a critical or overprotective ‘Parent’ voice in our heads, constantly telling us we’re not good enough or that the world is a dangerous place. Or it might be a scared or rebellious ‘Child’ part that is reacting to past experiences. In our sessions, we can start to untangle these different parts of you. We can give a voice to the scared ‘Child’ and begin to challenge the unhelpful messages from the ‘Parent’. The goal is to strengthen your ‘Adult’ self, so you can respond to situations in the present moment, rather than being driven by old patterns and fears.
By understanding where your anxiety comes from, we can start to develop new, healthier ways of coping. We’ll work together to build your self-awareness, challenge the negative thought patterns that fuel your anxiety, and develop practical strategies to manage the physical symptoms. It’s about empowering you to become your own internal counsellor, equipped with the tools to navigate life’s challenges with greater calm and confidence.
How Can We Recognise That We Are Overanxious?
It can be easy to dismiss our own struggles, to tell ourselves to “just get on with it.” But recognising the signs of excessive anxiety is the first step towards getting the support you deserve. Ask yourself:
- Do you find yourself worrying constantly, about a wide range of things?
- Do you feel restless, on edge, or unable to relax?
- Are you easily tired and struggle with sleep?
- Do you experience physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, or stomach problems?
- Do you find it hard to concentrate or find your mind goes blank?
- Are you irritable or more snappy than usual?
- Have you started to avoid situations or people because of your anxiety?
- Do you have a sense of impending doom or a feeling that something bad is about to happen?
If several of these resonate with you, it’s a sign that anxiety might be having a significant impact on your life.
Does This Sound Like You?
Reading this article might have felt familiar, perhaps uncomfortably so. If you’ve recognised yourself in these words, please know that you are not alone, and you don’t have to continue to struggle in silence. Taking the step to seek counselling can feel daunting, but it is a courageous act of self-care. It’s an investment in your well-being and your future.
If you are ready to start your journey towards a calmer, more fulfilling life, I invite you to get in touch. We can arrange a confidential, no-obligation chat to see how I can help you.