Mike Drabble

Tag: life changes

  • Feeling Adrift in the Age of AI? Counselling Can Help You Find Your Footing

    If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re feeling a certain unease about the future of work. You see the headlines, you hear the news, and you wonder: “What does the rise of Artificial Intelligence mean for my job, for my security, for me?”

    You are not alone. As an integrative counsellor with many years of experience, I’m seeing more and more people walk into my therapy room carrying the heavy weight of this uncertainty. They are skilled, experienced, and dedicated people who suddenly feel like the ground is shifting beneath their feet. This article is for you. It’s a space to acknowledge those fears and to explore how talking to a professional can help you not just to cope, but to find a renewed sense of purpose and direction in this new world.

    The Robot in the Room: Acknowledging the Changing World of Work

    Let’s be honest, the pace of change is staggering. AI is no longer a far-off concept from science fiction; it’s here, and it’s reshaping our world in real time. We see it in customer service chatbots, in automated checkout lines, and increasingly, in creative and analytical fields that we once thought were uniquely human.

    For some, the impact is immediate and stark. Roles in data entry, administration, and even some areas of graphic design and copywriting are shrinking rapidly. If you’re in one of these fields, you might be facing redundancy or the daunting prospect of a complete career change. It can feel like the skills you’ve spent years, or even decades, perfecting have been devalued overnight.

    For many others, the threat is less immediate but just as unsettling. You might be a project manager, a lawyer, a teacher, or an accountant, and you see parts of your job being automated. You start to wonder, “How long until my role is next? Will I be able to keep up? What will my career look like in five or ten years?” This constant, low-level hum of anxiety about the future creates a profound sense of insecurity. It’s like living with a question mark hanging over your head every single day.

    The Human Cost: More Than Just a Job

    Losing a job, or living with the fear of it, is never just about the loss of income. Our work is so often intertwined with our identity, our sense of self-worth, and our place in the world. When that is threatened, the psychological impact can be immense.

    You might be experiencing:

    • Anxiety and Overwhelm: A constant feeling of dread, racing thoughts about the future, and difficulty sleeping as your mind churns through worst-case scenarios.
    • Low Self-Esteem: You might start to question your own value and abilities. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m being left behind” can become a constant, critical inner voice.
    • A Sense of Loss and Grief: It’s completely normal to grieve for a career you loved, for the future you had planned, or for the sense of security you’ve lost. This isn’t just a practical problem; it’s an emotional one.
    • Identity Crisis: For many of us, when someone asks “What do you do?”, our job title is the first thing we say. When that’s gone or feels insecure, it can trigger a profound identity crisis. Who am I, if not the job I do? What is my purpose now?
    • Feeling Stuck and Powerless: The sheer scale of this technological shift can leave you feeling like a small boat in a massive storm, tossed about with no control over your direction.

    If any of this resonates, please know that your feelings are valid. You are having a perfectly normal human reaction to a deeply challenging and abnormal situation.

    Finding an Anchor in the Storm: How Counselling Can Help Right Now

    When you’re in the middle of that storm, the first priority is to find an anchor. Counselling provides a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space to help you do just that. It’s a place to steady yourself and catch your breath.

    One of the ways we can think about our reactions to stress is through a simple model from a type of therapy called Transactional Analysis. It suggests we all have different parts of our personality that take over at different times:

    1. The Inner Critic (Our ‘Parent’ voice): This is the part of you that has absorbed all the “shoulds” and “oughts” from your life. When you’re facing job insecurity, this voice can become incredibly loud and harsh. It might sound like: “You should have seen this coming,” “You’re not working hard enough to adapt,” or “You’re failing your family.” In counselling, we can learn to identify this critical voice, understand where it comes from, and develop a kinder, more compassionate inner dialogue. We can challenge its harsh judgments and replace them with a more supportive perspective.
    2. The Frightened Child (Our ‘Child’ voice): This is the part of you that holds all your emotions – your fear, your sadness, your anger. When your security is threatened, this part can feel terrified and overwhelmed. It’s the part that feels small and powerless in the face of huge, scary changes. Therapy gives this part a voice. It allows you to express those raw fears and feelings without judgment, so they don’t stay bottled up inside, causing anxiety or depression. Acknowledging the scared part of you is the first step to soothing it.
    3. The Grounded Adult (Our ‘Adult’ voice): This is your rational, here-and-now, problem-solving self. It’s the part that can look at the situation calmly, assess the facts, and make clear-headed decisions. The goal of counselling isn’t to get rid of your inner critic or your fears, but to strengthen this grounded ‘Adult’ part of you. By giving the other parts a voice and understanding them, we free up your rational mind to take charge. We can work together to break down the overwhelming problem of “What do I do now?” into manageable, practical steps. This might involve exploring retraining options, updating your CV, or simply creating a daily routine to restore a sense of stability.

    By working with these different parts of you, counselling can help you lower your immediate stress levels, manage difficult emotions, and move from a state of panicked reaction to one of thoughtful action.

    Beyond Survival: Redefining Meaning and Finding a New Path

    Counselling is not just about crisis management. Once the immediate storm has calmed, it offers a profound opportunity for growth and re-evaluation. This is where we can address the deeper questions that job insecurity brings to the surface.

    Our careers often provide us with what we might call ‘life scripts’ – a story we tell ourselves about who we are and where we’re going. “I am a successful accountant who will one day make partner.” “I am a dedicated artist who creates beautiful things.” When AI disrupts these scripts, it can feel like our life’s story has been ripped up.

    This is a painful process, but it is also a moment of incredible potential. In therapy, we can begin the work of writing a new script. This isn’t about ignoring your past or pretending your skills are no longer valuable. It’s about integrating them into a new, more expansive story. We can explore questions like:

    • What did I truly value about my old job? Was it the problem-solving, the creativity, the connection with colleagues, the sense of helping others?
    • How can I find those same values in new and different ways? Could that creativity be channelled into a new business, a hobby, or volunteer work? Could that desire to help others be fulfilled in a different sector?
    • Who am I, beyond my job title? What are my core strengths, passions, and interests that have been lying dormant?

    This is where the ‘integrative’ part of my approach comes in. We can draw on different therapeutic ideas to help you reconnect with your authentic self. We might use creative exercises to unlock your imagination, mindfulness techniques to help you connect with your present moment experience, or existential therapy concepts to explore your fundamental values and what truly gives your life meaning.

    The goal is to help you see that your worth is not defined by your productivity or your job title. You are a whole, complex, and valuable person, and while your career is an important part of your life, it is not the whole of your life. By untangling your identity from your job, you can build a more resilient and authentic sense of self – one that isn’t so easily shaken by external changes. You can move from seeing the future as a threat to seeing it as an open space of possibility.

    Does This Sound Like You?

    If you’ve been reading this and nodding along, feeling that sense of recognition in your own life, then perhaps it’s time to talk. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anxiety about the future, struggling with a loss of identity, or simply feeling stuck and unsure of how to move forward in the face of AI-driven change, please know that you don’t have to navigate this alone.

    Counselling offers a dedicated space and time, just for you, to explore these challenges and find your own unique path forward. It’s an investment in your well-being and your future.

    If you’d like to explore how we could work together, please contact me to arrange an initial, no-obligation conversation.

  • Navigating Life’s Crossroads: How to Cope When Change Feels Overwhelming

    Life, in its essence, is a series of changes. Some are gentle and welcome, like the turning of the seasons. Others arrive like a sudden storm, leaving us feeling disoriented, vulnerable, and unsure of which way to turn. If you’re reading this, chances are you are in the midst of one of those storms. I want you to know that what you are feeling is a perfectly human response to a difficult situation. You are not alone.

    As an integrative counsellor with many years of experience, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with people as they navigate some of life’s most challenging transitions. I’ve seen first-hand how these moments, as painful as they can be, also hold the potential for profound growth and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

    The Tides of Change

    While every person’s story is unique, the events that shake our foundations often fall into a few common categories. Perhaps you recognise your own situation in one of these.

    Relationships: A relationship is more than just a person; it’s a shared world, a routine, a vision of the future. When it ends, whether through a difficult break-up, a divorce, or the slow, painful realisation that you feel trapped, the loss is immense. It’s not just the person you grieve, but the future you had planned. You might be asking yourself, “Who am I without them?” or feeling overwhelmed by the practical and emotional fallout.

    Career and Vocation: Our work often forms a huge part of our identity. A major shift here can feel like a shift in our very self. This can happen when leaving university and facing the vast, daunting world of work; being made redundant and losing not just an income but a sense of purpose and community; or retiring and finding that the structure that held your days together for decades has vanished overnight. These changes challenge our sense of value and competence.

    Health and a Changing Body: Nothing brings us face-to-face with our own vulnerability quite like a health crisis. This could be the gradual process of ageing, a sudden and serious diagnosis, or learning to live with a chronic illness. The feeling of being betrayed by your own body is powerful. It forces us to confront our mortality and renegotiate our relationship with a body that may no longer be able to do what we once took for granted.

    The Ripple Effect: How These Changes Impact Us

    A major life change doesn’t just affect one part of our lives; its ripples spread outwards, touching everything. It can leave you feeling anxious, depressed, angry, or simply numb. You might find your sleep is disturbed, your patience is thin, and your confidence is at an all-time low.

    From a therapeutic perspective, what’s happening is that the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life has been suddenly ripped up. We all have an internal “life script” – an unconscious story we wrote for ourselves in childhood about who we are, how the world works, and what our future holds. A major change, like a divorce or a job loss, can feel like a direct contradiction to that script. We’re left confused, without a map.

    When this happens, different parts of us react.

    • There’s often a part that sounds a lot like a critical parent or a teacher from our past – an internal voice telling us we’ve failed, that we ‘should’ have seen this coming, or that we ‘ought’ to be coping better. This voice can be harsh and unforgiving.
    • Then there’s a younger, more vulnerable part of us that holds our past hurts and fears. This is the part that feels small, scared, overwhelmed, or abandoned – much like a child might feel in a frightening new situation.
    • In the middle of all this noise is our thinking, rational, present-day self. This is the part that’s trying to solve the problem, make a plan, and move forward. But it can easily get drowned out by the critical voice and the scared feelings.

    When these parts of ourselves are in conflict, we feel stuck. We might find ourselves repeating unhelpful patterns, having the same circular arguments in our head, or feeling paralysed and unable to make a decision.

    Finding Your Compass: How Counselling Can Help

    This is where counselling can be a lifeline. It provides a unique kind of space – one that is confidential, safe, and entirely yours. It’s a place where you don’t have to pretend you’re “fine.” You can bring your anger, your fear, your confusion, and your grief, and know that it will be met with acceptance, not judgement.

    How My Approach Can Help

    As an integrative counsellor, I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all solution. Your life and your problems are unique, so our work together will be tailored specifically to you. I draw on different therapeutic ideas, including Transactional Analysis, to help make sense of what you’re going through.

    In our sessions, we can:

    • Give a voice to all parts of you. We can listen to that internal critic and understand where it came from. We can soothe that scared inner child. By doing this, we can quieten the internal noise, allowing your thinking, rational self to come to the forefront and navigate the situation with more clarity.
    • Examine your “life script.” We can look at the old story you’ve been living by. Is it still serving you? Does it even belong to you, or is it one you inherited from your family or from society? A life change, while painful, is a powerful opportunity to decide if you want to write a new, more authentic chapter for yourself.
    • Understand your patterns. We can gently explore why you might get stuck in certain cycles of thinking or behaviour. By bringing these patterns into the light, we take away their power, giving you the freedom to choose a different response.
    • Build your resources. I will not give you advice or tell you what to do. My role is to act as a skilled companion on your journey. I will help you find your own strengths, build your resilience, and rediscover your own inner compass so you can navigate not just this change, but future ones too.

    Does This Sound Like You?

    If you feel lost at a crossroads, if your internal world feels chaotic and overwhelming, or if you simply feel that the story of your life has gone off-piste and you need help finding the path again, please know that support is available. You don’t have to navigate this storm alone. Taking the first step to ask for help is an act of courage and self-compassion. If you feel that now is the right time, I invite you to contact me for a confidential, no-obligation chat about how we might be able to work together.