Mike Drabble

Tag: life script

  • Feeling Adrift in the Age of AI? Counselling Can Help You Find Your Footing

    If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re feeling a certain unease about the future of work. You see the headlines, you hear the news, and you wonder: “What does the rise of Artificial Intelligence mean for my job, for my security, for me?”

    You are not alone. As an integrative counsellor with many years of experience, I’m seeing more and more people walk into my therapy room carrying the heavy weight of this uncertainty. They are skilled, experienced, and dedicated people who suddenly feel like the ground is shifting beneath their feet. This article is for you. It’s a space to acknowledge those fears and to explore how talking to a professional can help you not just to cope, but to find a renewed sense of purpose and direction in this new world.

    The Robot in the Room: Acknowledging the Changing World of Work

    Let’s be honest, the pace of change is staggering. AI is no longer a far-off concept from science fiction; it’s here, and it’s reshaping our world in real time. We see it in customer service chatbots, in automated checkout lines, and increasingly, in creative and analytical fields that we once thought were uniquely human.

    For some, the impact is immediate and stark. Roles in data entry, administration, and even some areas of graphic design and copywriting are shrinking rapidly. If you’re in one of these fields, you might be facing redundancy or the daunting prospect of a complete career change. It can feel like the skills you’ve spent years, or even decades, perfecting have been devalued overnight.

    For many others, the threat is less immediate but just as unsettling. You might be a project manager, a lawyer, a teacher, or an accountant, and you see parts of your job being automated. You start to wonder, “How long until my role is next? Will I be able to keep up? What will my career look like in five or ten years?” This constant, low-level hum of anxiety about the future creates a profound sense of insecurity. It’s like living with a question mark hanging over your head every single day.

    The Human Cost: More Than Just a Job

    Losing a job, or living with the fear of it, is never just about the loss of income. Our work is so often intertwined with our identity, our sense of self-worth, and our place in the world. When that is threatened, the psychological impact can be immense.

    You might be experiencing:

    • Anxiety and Overwhelm: A constant feeling of dread, racing thoughts about the future, and difficulty sleeping as your mind churns through worst-case scenarios.
    • Low Self-Esteem: You might start to question your own value and abilities. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m being left behind” can become a constant, critical inner voice.
    • A Sense of Loss and Grief: It’s completely normal to grieve for a career you loved, for the future you had planned, or for the sense of security you’ve lost. This isn’t just a practical problem; it’s an emotional one.
    • Identity Crisis: For many of us, when someone asks “What do you do?”, our job title is the first thing we say. When that’s gone or feels insecure, it can trigger a profound identity crisis. Who am I, if not the job I do? What is my purpose now?
    • Feeling Stuck and Powerless: The sheer scale of this technological shift can leave you feeling like a small boat in a massive storm, tossed about with no control over your direction.

    If any of this resonates, please know that your feelings are valid. You are having a perfectly normal human reaction to a deeply challenging and abnormal situation.

    Finding an Anchor in the Storm: How Counselling Can Help Right Now

    When you’re in the middle of that storm, the first priority is to find an anchor. Counselling provides a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space to help you do just that. It’s a place to steady yourself and catch your breath.

    One of the ways we can think about our reactions to stress is through a simple model from a type of therapy called Transactional Analysis. It suggests we all have different parts of our personality that take over at different times:

    1. The Inner Critic (Our ‘Parent’ voice): This is the part of you that has absorbed all the “shoulds” and “oughts” from your life. When you’re facing job insecurity, this voice can become incredibly loud and harsh. It might sound like: “You should have seen this coming,” “You’re not working hard enough to adapt,” or “You’re failing your family.” In counselling, we can learn to identify this critical voice, understand where it comes from, and develop a kinder, more compassionate inner dialogue. We can challenge its harsh judgments and replace them with a more supportive perspective.
    2. The Frightened Child (Our ‘Child’ voice): This is the part of you that holds all your emotions – your fear, your sadness, your anger. When your security is threatened, this part can feel terrified and overwhelmed. It’s the part that feels small and powerless in the face of huge, scary changes. Therapy gives this part a voice. It allows you to express those raw fears and feelings without judgment, so they don’t stay bottled up inside, causing anxiety or depression. Acknowledging the scared part of you is the first step to soothing it.
    3. The Grounded Adult (Our ‘Adult’ voice): This is your rational, here-and-now, problem-solving self. It’s the part that can look at the situation calmly, assess the facts, and make clear-headed decisions. The goal of counselling isn’t to get rid of your inner critic or your fears, but to strengthen this grounded ‘Adult’ part of you. By giving the other parts a voice and understanding them, we free up your rational mind to take charge. We can work together to break down the overwhelming problem of “What do I do now?” into manageable, practical steps. This might involve exploring retraining options, updating your CV, or simply creating a daily routine to restore a sense of stability.

    By working with these different parts of you, counselling can help you lower your immediate stress levels, manage difficult emotions, and move from a state of panicked reaction to one of thoughtful action.

    Beyond Survival: Redefining Meaning and Finding a New Path

    Counselling is not just about crisis management. Once the immediate storm has calmed, it offers a profound opportunity for growth and re-evaluation. This is where we can address the deeper questions that job insecurity brings to the surface.

    Our careers often provide us with what we might call ‘life scripts’ – a story we tell ourselves about who we are and where we’re going. “I am a successful accountant who will one day make partner.” “I am a dedicated artist who creates beautiful things.” When AI disrupts these scripts, it can feel like our life’s story has been ripped up.

    This is a painful process, but it is also a moment of incredible potential. In therapy, we can begin the work of writing a new script. This isn’t about ignoring your past or pretending your skills are no longer valuable. It’s about integrating them into a new, more expansive story. We can explore questions like:

    • What did I truly value about my old job? Was it the problem-solving, the creativity, the connection with colleagues, the sense of helping others?
    • How can I find those same values in new and different ways? Could that creativity be channelled into a new business, a hobby, or volunteer work? Could that desire to help others be fulfilled in a different sector?
    • Who am I, beyond my job title? What are my core strengths, passions, and interests that have been lying dormant?

    This is where the ‘integrative’ part of my approach comes in. We can draw on different therapeutic ideas to help you reconnect with your authentic self. We might use creative exercises to unlock your imagination, mindfulness techniques to help you connect with your present moment experience, or existential therapy concepts to explore your fundamental values and what truly gives your life meaning.

    The goal is to help you see that your worth is not defined by your productivity or your job title. You are a whole, complex, and valuable person, and while your career is an important part of your life, it is not the whole of your life. By untangling your identity from your job, you can build a more resilient and authentic sense of self – one that isn’t so easily shaken by external changes. You can move from seeing the future as a threat to seeing it as an open space of possibility.

    Does This Sound Like You?

    If you’ve been reading this and nodding along, feeling that sense of recognition in your own life, then perhaps it’s time to talk. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anxiety about the future, struggling with a loss of identity, or simply feeling stuck and unsure of how to move forward in the face of AI-driven change, please know that you don’t have to navigate this alone.

    Counselling offers a dedicated space and time, just for you, to explore these challenges and find your own unique path forward. It’s an investment in your well-being and your future.

    If you’d like to explore how we could work together, please contact me to arrange an initial, no-obligation conversation.

  • Finding Your Way: Exploring Your Sexuality Via the Safe Harbour of Counselling

    If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re carrying something heavy. Perhaps it’s a question you’re afraid to ask out loud, a hurt that hasn’t healed, or a feeling of being out of step with the world around you. Please know, you’re not alone in this, and finding a path forward is entirely possible.

    I am an integrative counsellor based in the UK. Over many years of practice, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with people from all walks of life as they navigate one of the most personal and fundamental aspects of who they are: their sexuality. It’s a journey that can be filled with joy and self-discovery, but it can also be confusing, frightening, and isolating.

    The purpose of this article is to shed some light on the common struggles people face around their sexuality and to show you how counselling can offer a unique and powerful form of support. My hope is that in these words, you will feel seen and understood.

    Does Any of This Sound Familiar?

    Sexuality isn’t just about who we are attracted to; it’s woven into our identity, our relationships, and how we see our place in the world. When we face challenges in this area, it can shake our very foundations. Often, the people who come to see me are dealing with one or more of the following situations.

    “Who Am I?” – Questioning and Exploring Your Sexuality

    For many, sexuality isn’t a straightforward or fixed thing. You might be feeling a sense of confusion. Perhaps you’ve always identified as straight, but are now experiencing feelings for someone of the same gender. Maybe you’ve identified as gay or lesbian, but are questioning if that label truly fits. You might feel you don’t fit into any box at all, and the pressure to pick one can be immense.

    This inner questioning often comes with a chorus of internal voices. In my work as a counsellor, I sometimes draw on ideas from a model called Transactional Analysis, which helps us understand our different internal states. You might recognise a “voice” that sounds a lot like a critical parent or teacher from your past, telling you what you should be feeling. This is the voice that says, “This is just a phase,” or “You can’t be that, what would people think?”

    Then there’s another part of you, perhaps a younger, more intuitive part, that is simply feeling what it’s feeling. It’s this authentic part that we often learn to suppress. The conflict between the “shoulds” we’ve absorbed from our upbringing and our true, emerging feelings can create a huge amount of anxiety and self-doubt. You might feel like you’re living a lie, or that you’re broken in some way. You are not. You are simply on a journey of discovery.

    “You Can’t Be…” – Facing Prejudice from Those Closest to You

    One of the most painful experiences a person can endure is rejection from their own family, friends, or community because of their sexuality. We all have an unwritten “life story” that we think we are supposed to follow, often written for us by our parents and our culture. When you come out, or even just begin to question your identity, you are essentially telling them you’re going “off-script.”

    This can trigger a powerful reaction in them. Their own fears, prejudices, and disappointments can come rushing to the surface. They might say hurtful things, withdraw their love and support, or try to convince you that you are wrong. For you, this isn’t just a disagreement; it’s a fundamental rejection of who you are. It can feel like you’re being forced to choose between your authenticity and your closest relationships, a choice no one should have to make. This can lead to profound feelings of grief, anger, and a deep sense of loneliness.

    The same dynamic can play out in the workplace or in social circles. Colleagues might make insensitive jokes, exclude you from conversations, or treat you differently. These repeated, smaller hurts – sometimes called microaggressions – build up over time, chipping away at your confidence and your sense of safety.

    “Why Are They Always Talking About Us?” – Coping with Societal Noise

    Living as an LGBTQ+ person in the UK today means existing against a backdrop of constant noise. Your identity, your rights, and your very existence can feel like they are perpetually up for debate in the news, on social media, and in politics. This “culture war” rhetoric isn’t just abstract political talk; it has a real and damaging impact.

    It creates an atmosphere of anxiety and hyper-vigilance. You might find yourself scanning headlines for the latest attack, feeling a knot in your stomach when you see certain topics trending online. This external hostility can easily become internalised. We can unconsciously absorb the negative messages we hear and begin to believe them on some level. This can manifest as internalised shame – a quiet, persistent feeling that there is something wrong with you. It can make you feel unsafe in public spaces, hesitant to hold a partner’s hand, or afraid to be your true self for fear of judgement or harm. It is utterly exhausting.

    How Counselling Can Help: A Space to Breathe, A Place to Heal

    Navigating these challenges on your own is an immense burden. Counselling provides a dedicated space where you can put that burden down, look at it without fear, and start to heal. Here’s how my approach can help.

    A Genuinely Warm, Safe, and Non-Judgemental Space

    First and foremost, the counselling room is your space. It is a confidential container, separate from the expectations and judgements of the outside world. Here, you can say the unsayable. You can explore your attractions, your fears, your anger, and your confusion without any agenda from me. My role is not to give you answers or to label you, but to listen with warmth, empathy, and complete acceptance. I am here to walk alongside you on your path, wherever it may lead. For many, this is the first time they have ever felt able to speak about their sexuality with total honesty.

    Untangling the Knots: Making Sense of Your Experiences

    When we are hurting, our thoughts and feelings can feel like a tangled mess. Counselling is a process of gently untangling those knots. We can look at the painful interactions with family and understand what was really going on, both for you and for them. We can examine those recurring patterns of conversation where you end up feeling hurt and misunderstood. By understanding these dynamics, you can find new ways to respond that protect your emotional wellbeing, whether that means setting boundaries or processing your grief.

    We can also work on those internalised voices. We can give your own calm, rational “adult” voice more strength, allowing you to challenge the old, critical messages you’ve carried for so long. The goal is to help you develop a stronger, more compassionate relationship with yourself.

    The Benefits of an Integrative Approach

    “Integrative” simply means that I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to therapy. You are a unique individual, and our work together should reflect that. I draw upon a range of therapeutic models and ideas to tailor the sessions to what you need.

    For example, using ideas from Transactional Analysis can help us understand your relationship patterns and the “scripts” that might be holding you back. Exploring your experiences through a person-centred lens ensures that you are always at the heart of the work, treated with empathy and unconditional positive regard. We might also touch on concepts from behavioural therapies to explore the links between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, helping you develop practical strategies for managing anxiety or low mood. This flexibility allows us to find what truly resonates and works for you.

    Does This Sound Like You?

    If you have been nodding along as you read this—if you recognise yourself in the feelings of confusion, the pain of prejudice, or the exhaustion of living in a critical world—please know that you don’t have to carry this alone.

    Taking the first step to seek support is an act of courage and self-care. It’s an affirmation that you deserve to feel at peace with who you are, to have fulfilling relationships, and to live an authentic life, free from shame and fear.

    If you think you are ready to explore this journey in a supportive and confidential setting, I invite you to get in touch. We can arrange an initial conversation to see how I can help.

    To begin, please follow this link: Contact Me

  • Navigating Life’s Crossroads: How to Cope When Change Feels Overwhelming

    Life, in its essence, is a series of changes. Some are gentle and welcome, like the turning of the seasons. Others arrive like a sudden storm, leaving us feeling disoriented, vulnerable, and unsure of which way to turn. If you’re reading this, chances are you are in the midst of one of those storms. I want you to know that what you are feeling is a perfectly human response to a difficult situation. You are not alone.

    As an integrative counsellor with many years of experience, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with people as they navigate some of life’s most challenging transitions. I’ve seen first-hand how these moments, as painful as they can be, also hold the potential for profound growth and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

    The Tides of Change

    While every person’s story is unique, the events that shake our foundations often fall into a few common categories. Perhaps you recognise your own situation in one of these.

    Relationships: A relationship is more than just a person; it’s a shared world, a routine, a vision of the future. When it ends, whether through a difficult break-up, a divorce, or the slow, painful realisation that you feel trapped, the loss is immense. It’s not just the person you grieve, but the future you had planned. You might be asking yourself, “Who am I without them?” or feeling overwhelmed by the practical and emotional fallout.

    Career and Vocation: Our work often forms a huge part of our identity. A major shift here can feel like a shift in our very self. This can happen when leaving university and facing the vast, daunting world of work; being made redundant and losing not just an income but a sense of purpose and community; or retiring and finding that the structure that held your days together for decades has vanished overnight. These changes challenge our sense of value and competence.

    Health and a Changing Body: Nothing brings us face-to-face with our own vulnerability quite like a health crisis. This could be the gradual process of ageing, a sudden and serious diagnosis, or learning to live with a chronic illness. The feeling of being betrayed by your own body is powerful. It forces us to confront our mortality and renegotiate our relationship with a body that may no longer be able to do what we once took for granted.

    The Ripple Effect: How These Changes Impact Us

    A major life change doesn’t just affect one part of our lives; its ripples spread outwards, touching everything. It can leave you feeling anxious, depressed, angry, or simply numb. You might find your sleep is disturbed, your patience is thin, and your confidence is at an all-time low.

    From a therapeutic perspective, what’s happening is that the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life has been suddenly ripped up. We all have an internal “life script” – an unconscious story we wrote for ourselves in childhood about who we are, how the world works, and what our future holds. A major change, like a divorce or a job loss, can feel like a direct contradiction to that script. We’re left confused, without a map.

    When this happens, different parts of us react.

    • There’s often a part that sounds a lot like a critical parent or a teacher from our past – an internal voice telling us we’ve failed, that we ‘should’ have seen this coming, or that we ‘ought’ to be coping better. This voice can be harsh and unforgiving.
    • Then there’s a younger, more vulnerable part of us that holds our past hurts and fears. This is the part that feels small, scared, overwhelmed, or abandoned – much like a child might feel in a frightening new situation.
    • In the middle of all this noise is our thinking, rational, present-day self. This is the part that’s trying to solve the problem, make a plan, and move forward. But it can easily get drowned out by the critical voice and the scared feelings.

    When these parts of ourselves are in conflict, we feel stuck. We might find ourselves repeating unhelpful patterns, having the same circular arguments in our head, or feeling paralysed and unable to make a decision.

    Finding Your Compass: How Counselling Can Help

    This is where counselling can be a lifeline. It provides a unique kind of space – one that is confidential, safe, and entirely yours. It’s a place where you don’t have to pretend you’re “fine.” You can bring your anger, your fear, your confusion, and your grief, and know that it will be met with acceptance, not judgement.

    How My Approach Can Help

    As an integrative counsellor, I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all solution. Your life and your problems are unique, so our work together will be tailored specifically to you. I draw on different therapeutic ideas, including Transactional Analysis, to help make sense of what you’re going through.

    In our sessions, we can:

    • Give a voice to all parts of you. We can listen to that internal critic and understand where it came from. We can soothe that scared inner child. By doing this, we can quieten the internal noise, allowing your thinking, rational self to come to the forefront and navigate the situation with more clarity.
    • Examine your “life script.” We can look at the old story you’ve been living by. Is it still serving you? Does it even belong to you, or is it one you inherited from your family or from society? A life change, while painful, is a powerful opportunity to decide if you want to write a new, more authentic chapter for yourself.
    • Understand your patterns. We can gently explore why you might get stuck in certain cycles of thinking or behaviour. By bringing these patterns into the light, we take away their power, giving you the freedom to choose a different response.
    • Build your resources. I will not give you advice or tell you what to do. My role is to act as a skilled companion on your journey. I will help you find your own strengths, build your resilience, and rediscover your own inner compass so you can navigate not just this change, but future ones too.

    Does This Sound Like You?

    If you feel lost at a crossroads, if your internal world feels chaotic and overwhelming, or if you simply feel that the story of your life has gone off-piste and you need help finding the path again, please know that support is available. You don’t have to navigate this storm alone. Taking the first step to ask for help is an act of courage and self-compassion. If you feel that now is the right time, I invite you to contact me for a confidential, no-obligation chat about how we might be able to work together.

  • That Drifting Feeling: Finding Your Anchor When Life Feels Meaningless

    It can start as a whisper, a nagging thought at the back of your mind during the quiet moments. Then, it can grow into a persistent hum, a heavy blanket that smothers the colour from your days. The feeling that, despite all of your constant effort, your life is going nowhere. If you’re reading this, chances are you know that feeling. It’s a sense of being adrift on a vast ocean with no land in sight, a feeling of going through the motions without a true sense of purpose. As an experienced integrative counsellor, I want you to know that you are not alone in this, and more importantly, there is a way to find your anchor.

    Why Do We Feel This Way? The Roots of Meaninglessness

    Feeling that life lacks meaning is a deeply human experience, and in our fast-paced, high-pressure world, it’s becoming increasingly common. Sometimes, this feeling can be triggered by a significant life event: the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakdown, redundancy, or a major health diagnosis. These moments can shake the foundations of the life we’ve built, leaving us questioning what it was all for.

    But often, it’s a more gradual erosion. Perhaps you’ve achieved the goals you thought would make you happy – the career, the house, the family – only to find a hollow feeling remains. The constant pressure to be ‘on’, to be successful, to present a perfect life on social media can leave us feeling disconnected from our true selves. We can end up living a life that looks good on the outside but feels empty within.

    In my work, I often draw on ideas from different therapeutic approaches to help people understand these feelings. One that I find particularly helpful is Transactional Analysis, which, in simple terms, looks at how our past experiences shape our present. As children, we often receive messages about who we should be and how we should live. These messages, from parents, teachers, and society, form a kind of ‘life script’. We might be told that our worth comes from our achievements, our ability to please others, or our material success. As adults, we can find ourselves unconsciously following this script, even if it no longer fits who we are or what we truly want. When we live by a script that isn’t our own, a sense of meaninglessness is often the unwelcome result.

    The Weight of a Life Without Purpose

    Living with a chronic sense of meaninglessness is more than just feeling a bit down. It can drain your energy, making it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Motivation plummets, and activities you once enjoyed can feel like a chore. It can lead to a sense of isolation, a feeling that no one truly understands what you’re going through.

    This can impact our relationships, our work, and our physical health. We might withdraw from friends and family, struggle to concentrate at work, or neglect our physical well-being. Over time, this feeling can curdle into more serious mental health challenges like depression and anxiety. It’s a heavy weight to carry, and it’s not something you have to bear alone.

    Finding Your Compass: Addressing Meaninglessness Through Structure and Purpose

    So, how do we begin to find our way back to a life that feels meaningful? The answer often lies in creating our own sense of structure and purpose, rather than relying on external validation or outdated ‘life scripts’. This is a journey of self-discovery, of reconnecting with what truly matters to you.

    As an integrative counsellor, I work with my clients to explore this in a way that feels right for them. We might start by looking at those old ‘life scripts’. By understanding the messages you received in childhood, we can begin to see which ones are still serving you and which ones it’s time to let go of. Transactional Analysis offers a simple but powerful model for doing this, which we can discuss in session.

    We also work on identifying your core values. What is truly important to you, deep down? Is it creativity, connection, learning, or making a difference to others? Once you have a clearer sense of your values, you can start to build a life that reflects them. This doesn’t necessarily mean making dramatic, sweeping changes. Often, it’s about small, consistent steps. It could be carving out time for a forgotten hobby, volunteering for a cause you care about, or simply making more time for the people who lift you up.

    Finding structure is also key. When life feels chaotic and formless, creating routines and rituals can provide a sense of stability and forward momentum. This could be as simple as a morning walk, a weekly coffee with a friend, or setting aside time each day for quiet reflection. These small, intentional acts can be powerful anchors in the storm of meaninglessness.

    Does This Sound Like You?

    If you’ve been nodding along as you read this, feeling that sense of emptiness and longing for something more, please know that there is hope. Taking the step to seek counselling is an act of courage and a commitment to yourself. In our confidential sessions, we can explore these feelings together, without judgment. We can work to understand the unique reasons behind your sense of meaninglessness and, most importantly, we can start to build a life that feels authentic, purposeful, and truly yours. You don’t have to keep drifting. Let’s work together to find your anchor. Please get in touch to see how I can help you find your way back to a life of meaning and purpose.