First of all, congratulations. Finishing a university degree is a monumental achievement. It represents years of hard work, dedication, late nights, and profound personal growth. You have every right to feel proud. The ceremonies, the photos, the celebrations with friends and family – these are moments to be cherished.
And yet, for many recent graduates I speak to, once the confetti settles, a very different set of feelings can begin to creep in: anxiety, a sense of being lost, and a creeping dread about the future. If you’re feeling this way, I want you to know two things: you are not alone, and it makes perfect sense. Graduating from university in the mid-2020s is a uniquely challenging experience.
As an integrative counsellor, my job is to help people make sense of their inner world, especially during times of difficult transition. The journey from graduate to… well, to whatever comes next, is one of the most significant transitions you will ever face. Let’s explore some of the reasons why it can feel so tough.
The Shifting Sands of the Graduate Job Market
Let’s start with the obvious. The world you’ve graduated into is not the one you were promised when you first applied to university. The UK economy has been sluggish, and many traditional graduate pathways have narrowed. We’re also in the midst of a technological revolution. Companies are increasingly using AI and automation for tasks that were once stepping-stones for bright graduates.
The result is a hyper-competitive job market where it can feel like you’re sending hundreds of carefully crafted applications into a black hole, only to be met with automated rejections, or worse, silence. This process is more than just frustrating; it can be deeply corrosive to your sense of self-worth. After years of being validated by grades and academic success, the world of work can feel like it’s screaming that you’re not good enough. It’s incredibly difficult not to internalise that message, even when you know, logically, that it’s about the market, not about you.
The Final Page of the Script
For as long as you can remember, your life has probably followed a clear script. Go to primary school, then secondary school. Do your GCSEs, then your A-Levels. Go to university, work hard, get your degree. This script provides structure, a clear sense of direction, and a defined purpose. Each step has a goal, and achieving it unlocks the next stage.
Then, you graduate. The script ends. The final page is turned, and you look up, waiting for the next volume to be handed to you, only to find there isn’t one. You are now the author, and you’re staring at a blank page.
This sudden loss of structure and externally-defined purpose can be terrifying. It can trigger a profound identity crisis. If you’re not a student anymore, who are you? If your purpose is no longer to get a 2:1, what is your purpose now? This void of meaning is a huge part of the post-graduation struggle. Life, which was once a clear path, can suddenly feel like an open, empty, and intimidating field with no signposts.
The Unravelling of Your World
University isn’t just about education; it’s about building a life. You created a world for yourself, often in a new city. You found your people, formed intense friendships, and built a support network that understood your daily reality. You had independence, a social life, and a shared identity as students.
For many, graduation means this world is dismantled almost overnight. Friends scatter across the country, or even the world, in search of work. The shared houses are emptied. And often, the only financially viable option is to move back into your family home.
Moving back home can bring its own unique set of challenges. In Transactional Analysis, we talk about the different parts of our personality: the logical ‘Adult’, the feeling ‘Child’, and the rule-based ‘Parent’. At university, you likely spent most of your time operating from your capable, independent ‘Adult’ self.
However, returning to your childhood bedroom can feel like stepping into a time machine. Without anyone meaning for it to happen, old family dynamics can click back into place. Your parents might unintentionally slip into treating you like a teenager again (the ‘Parent’ role), and you might find yourself reacting with frustration or defiance (the ‘Child’ role), even when you want to respond as the capable adult you’ve become. This regression can feel confusing and disempowering, chipping away at the very independence you’ve worked so hard to build. You lose not only your friends but also, sometimes, your sense of yourself as a competent grown-up.
How Counselling Can Be Your Compass
If any of this is resonating with you, please know that support is available. It’s at times like this, when the old maps are useless and you need to draw a new one, that counselling can be an invaluable compass.
It provides a confidential, non-judgemental space that is entirely yours. It’s a dedicated hour each week to untangle the muddle of thoughts and feelings – the disappointment, the fear, the pressure from family, the loss of identity. Together, we can make sense of what’s happening, both externally in the world and internally for you.
- Writing Your Next Chapter: We can work together to explore what you truly want, away from the expectations of family and society. By understanding your values, strengths, and passions, you can begin to write the next chapter of your life script with intention and confidence, rather than feeling adrift.
- Finding Your ‘Adult’ Self Again: We can look at the dynamics that might be playing out at home. Counselling can help you find and strengthen your ‘Adult’ voice, enabling you to communicate your needs more effectively with your parents and navigate this tricky phase with more harmony and less conflict.
- Building Resilience: We can process the pain of job rejection and work on separating your self-worth from your employment status. This is crucial for building the resilience you need to navigate the current climate without it breaking your spirit.
I understand that finances are a major concern for recent graduates. For many, a longer-term piece of work is incredibly beneficial for deep exploration. However, for graduates that don’t have access to financial support from parents and the like, a shorter, more focused block of counselling (perhaps 6-12 sessions) can be very effective. It can be just the thing to help you process the shock of transition, regain your footing, and ‘turn the corner’ towards a more hopeful future.
To help make this support more accessible, I offer a discount for recent graduates. This is available to anyone who has graduated within the last two years and has not yet found stable employment in their chosen field.
Does this sound like you? Are you feeling lost, overwhelmed, and unsure of what to do next? You don’t have to navigate this alone. Taking the first step to ask for help is an act of strength.
If you would like to explore how we could work together, please get in touch for a free, no-obligation introductory chat using the link below.
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